Bonding
by InhumanFangirl084
Summary: Simmons realizes she has more in common with May than what she had thought... And after seeing them bonding Skye can't help but to feel jealous. Terrible summary but please give it a shot! FitzSimmons/Philinda parallel, May's friendship with Skye and Simmons.
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys! This is my first fic, I hope you'll like it!

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It was about three on the morning when May finally decided she was done pretending she would get any sleep that night. She had too many things in her head, well, even more than usual. That time away had been very nice for her; she really needed some time for herself, but in her time off she had realized how much she enjoyed being with the team.

Tired of thinking and rethinking the same ideas all over again May acquired a sitting position. She yawned noiselessly and stretched up a bit. She would usually go to the gym to do some tai-chi or to see if Coulson needed anything, but it was too late, or maybe too early, to do either of them. So she changed into some black leggings, put a pair of snickers on and made up her mind. She would go and have a cup of tea. Things were always easier with a cup of tea.

May made her way towards the kitchen, but when she walked past the common room something stopped her. A sob. Trying desperately not be noticed, and she was quite good at that, she slightly opened the door, just enough to take a peek inside the room. God bless the high-technology bases for not having any creaking doors.

It took her eyes a little to adjust to the darkness, but after a few seconds she was finally able to recognize different shapes in the black scene. She identified a body behind one of the couches. It was feminine, large and slim. Simmons.

 _Go back to your bunk_ , was her first thought. She wasn't good dealing with feelings; she had never been, to be honest. She had always let Coulson handle the sentimental part of everything, no matter they were talking about missions or rookies or their own team. He was just too good at that stuff.

However, she decided not to leave. Maybe it was something serious.

"Jemma?" she tried softly.

The figure almost jumped out of her skin. "May" said a voice with a startled British accent. "Bloody hell, you scared me"

"Sorry" May apologized. "What's going on?"

"Uh, it's nothing" she said.

After entering and closing behind her back May made her way to her side slowly. She sat down in silence, feeling somewhat odd about the whole situation. "It's not _nothing_ " was all she managed to murmur.

Why she had to be so stupid when it came to emotions? Of course it wasn't _nothing._

"I know" whispered the girl. She looked at her for a second, trying to force a smile. She was wearing a gray shirt from the Academy and sweatpants, her usual pajamas. Her hair was messy and her eyes bright and reddish, like the rest of her face. She hadn't had a good night of sleep before going there; that was obvious. "I'm glad you're back. When did you return here?"

"A couple of hours ago" she answered. "It's everything okay?" she insisted. May didn't want to push her, but she was worried and wanted to help her.

"It's… fine" replied Simmons. She sighed. "There's nothing you can do"

"I'm good at keeping secrets" said May.

Jemma turned her head to look at her and the moonlight that entered from the room illuminated her face. It was somewhat reddish, stained with tears. Her eyes were bright, and even if she looked away almost instantaneously they gave away how bad she felt.

"It's just… a lot of things" she admitted. "And on top of them I just talked with my father. We fought over the phone… again"

"He doesn't know you're here, does he?" asked May.

Simmons shook her head. "He thinks I'm a party planner, that that's what I've been doing since I finished university. I can't blame him, though. He spent a lot of money and time in my classes… I guess he had expected more from me, something that would make him proud"

"If it makes you feel any better… he would be, if he knew everything" said May, putting an awkward yet reassuring hand on her knee. "We all are"

"You don't have to lie to make me feel better" she muttered with a small smirk.

"I mean it, Simmons" replied the older woman. "You're a good person"

Simmons shook her head as tears appeared in her eyes "I don't even know who I am anymore"

May felt a shiver running down her back as she remembered that time she had told Coulson exactly same thing. She wondered if he had felt as bad as she did now, seeing Simmons breaking down like that.

"Yes, you are" she said, putting an arm around her shoulders to pull her closer.

She wasn't used to that kind of behavior and she had to admit it was indeed somewhat awkward, but it also felt like the right thing to do. After a few seconds of weak resistance and hesitation Simmons gave in and buried her face in her shoulder. "It's okay" whispered May in her ear. She placed her other hand on her back and gently caressed her hair. "It's okay"

"I'm sorry" she sobbed, her voice cracking in the middle of the sentence. "I just… I mean… what's wrong with me?"

May didn't know how to answer that. She couldn't say nothing, that would be a lie. But what else could she do? For a time that could have been either ten seconds or three hours they just stayed like that. Simmons sobbing in her arms. May holding her.

"It's okay not to always be okay" she said, trying to calm her. "You know that"

"I don't really feel like I'm ever going to be okay again" replied Simmons. She pulled apart and cleaned her face with the side of her sleeve. "I really appreciate you and your help, May, but I'm sorry; I don't think there's anything you can do" she said. "You…"

"I understand" May interrupted her. "More than you think"

Simmons shook her head. "You don't" she insisted. "I feel so bad, May. I… I try to be strong, but I can't. And I just wish…"

"You could run away, but you can't do that either" continued May. "Because you have that only person who still believes in you and that refuses to leave, even if you want him too. You want to disappear, but he's still there, and you're afraid that one day he'll see what you've become and walk away. And you want to move on too, forget everything what happened. But you can't, because you made it happen and it's a part of yourself, so you're the only one to blame"

May's voice slowly trailed off in the air. Her eyes were fixed to the floor, her lips shivering. She had said too much and she knew it, but she knew that words were the only way to get to her. From the corner of her eye she could see Simmons staring at her speechless, and how could she blame her? Jemma had never seen her talking that much, let alone to her or about something that personal.

Nevertheless she decided to wait for her answer, because deep inside of her she knew that she had got right every single word. May knew that no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't always protect her team. Simmons had gone through hell by herself, and she hadn't even tried to save her like the others. However, there was something only she could do; understand. That whole dimension experience had been Simmons's Bahrain, and she was more than decided to keep her safe, to keep her from becoming… someone like her.

"Okay" murmured Simmons after a small pause of awkward silence. "Maybe you do understand how I feel"

May just nodded.

"But... why?" she asked. A second later, before May could ever open her mouth to reply, she frowned and shook her head. "I'm sorry; you don't need to answer that"

"It's okay" said May. "I went through something similar in the past" she confessed, her voice barely an audible whisper. "It was my fault, though, and I had to deal with the consequences"

"You don't need to tell me this, May" interrupted her Simmons.

"My biggest mistake, however," she ignored her and continued talking, "was to walk away. I didn't let him help until it was too late"

"What does that mean?" asked Simmons.

May looked up again to meet her in the eye. "Don't walk away like I did, let them in, Jemma"

"I'm not so sure I can do that" she admitted. With a sigh she let her head fall on May's shoulder.

"Yes, you can" replied May, taking her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. "Just not on your own. And we're all here for you"

"Thanks" she whispered with a yawn.

"Let's go back to sleep" said May. She stood up and reached out a hand.

"Okay" agreed Simmons, taking it.

May walked her silently to her room and opened the door for her. Simmons, however, seemed reluctant to walk in and she noticed it.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Nothing" replied the young scientist, entering her dormitory and turning on the lights.

May didn't fall for that. "Nightmares" she said. It wasn't a question.

Simmons sighed. "Every single night"

"I'll stay until you fall asleep" she promised.

The girl blushed violently. "No. I'm fine, you don't need to do it"

"It's fine" said May, sitting on her bed. "Come here"

Simmons climbed her bed and slipped under the sheets. May just laid next to her, resting her head in one arm, bending over Simmons in a maternal way that made her feel strangely safe and protected.

"Thank you" said Simmons. "I'm really happy you're back"

"Good night" was May's answer.

"Good night"

None of them talked for the rest of the night. About twenty minutes later May heard Simmons's breathing becoming deeper and calmer. She knew she had fallen asleep already, but she was too tired to leave and her hand was still holding Jemma's.

She was such a good person, she thought. Like the other 'kids' from the team, Simmons had grown up; she was more mature and serious, but also braver and stronger. She had become a wonderful woman and May was really proud of her. She decided Simmons didn't deserve what had happened to her, and she swore to herself she would do everything in her power and even more to help her. With that last thought in her mind May closed her eyes and fell asleep next to the girl.

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What do you think? Please post some reviews guys, any feedback will be happily accepted! I'll try to update really soon and I promise the next chapter is going to be better!


	2. Chapter 2

About three months or so had passed since the night May had found her and comforted her. Things were different now; Andrew coming out as Lash had been a huge and not at all pleasing surprise for the whole team, especially for May. She had closed up more than ever, going out in missions all the time and barely talking. Moreover the whole team had noticed how much distance had grown between Coulson and May, but none of them knew what to do, for no one really understood what was going on between the two senior agents. Simmons had the feeling they didn't know it either.

Simmons sighed and made her way to the kitchen to have breakfast. May was sitting at the table, with a steaming cup of tea in her hands and an untouched apple in front of her.

"Morning" she said. May just nodded in response.

As she poured herself some hot water in her cup, Simmons had to bite her tongue to avoid asking May about why she was there so late, at seven am, when she usually had breakfast at six with Skye after training, and more than that, wearing civilian clothes. But instead of asking any of those questions she stayed quiet and just prepared herself tea and a toast.

"Mind if I join you?" she asked.

"Not at all" replied May.

Considering that her typical answer during the last weeks had been a simple shrug or a nod, Jemma interpreted that as a something positive. She sat next to her and took a bite of her sandwich.

"You okay?" Asked Simmons after swallowing. "Hunter said your mission was a complete success"

"We managed to get the files the director needed, but we didn't get the rest of the information about the In-human-related project the ATCU is working on" answered May.

"That's good" commented Simmons, trying to ignore the fact she had called Coulson 'the director'. She only did that when she didn't want his identity to be discovered or they were dealing with situations of a more formal level. "Did you tell Skye? I mean, Daisy" she corrected herself with a small sigh. "I will never get used to that name"

"Me neither" murmured the older woman.

"Sometimes I wish we could go back to how things used to be" she said. "Everything was simpler back then, when Ward wasn't a psychopath, Skye was Skye and we completed our missions successfully and professionally and weren't abducted by alien boxes" Simmons took a long sip from her cup. Then she leaned on her seat and enjoyed the nostalgia for a couple of minutes before talking again; "Hey, how is Coulson?"

"What do you mean?" asked May.

"Well, you know, he's probably having a hard time with everything what's going on with Rosalind's death and HYDRA's threats" she answered with a small shrug. "You two are really close so, I don't know, I wanted to see how he's doing"

May lowered her gaze until her eyes were fixed on her cup of tea. "You should ask him" she murmured. "We haven't talked a lot lately"

"Uh, okay. Sorry" said Simmons. She opened her mouth again to ask about Daisy, but something in May's eyes stopped her. "You should eat that" she said instead, pointing at her apple.

"I'm not really hungry" said May.

Simmons just nodded in response. May was clearly upset about something and though she wanted to help her like May had helped her in the past, if she wasn't even talking with Coulson the possibilities of she opening up to Simmons very were rare to not say unreal.

"May, uh, can I ask you something?" she said shyly after a long pause of silence, a crazy idea popping in her head.

May looked at her, her eyebrows slightly raised.

"I wanted to know… if you would… well, I know you're busy and everything but, you know…"

"Just say it Simmons" said May.

"Okay. I just… Would you train me?" she asked.

"What?" replied May, surprised.

"Yeah. I mean, I'm tired of not being able to defend myself like the others and I thought it would be a good idea if I learned a few techniques" answered Simmons, feeling incredibly stupid. _Great, now she'll think I'm an idiot_.

"Okay" said May after a few seconds.

"You'll do it?" she asked. "Thank you"

"It won't be easy" she warned her.

"I never expected it to be" said Simmons, chuckling. May couldn't help but cracking a smile, the first smile Simmons had seen in her in weeks. "So? When can we start?"

"When you're ready" answered May.

"What about this afternoon?" she asked. "I heard tomorrow you're going on a mission with Bobbi"

"We leave at nine am." she said. "Today at five?"

"Yeah, that's perfect for me" Simmons smiled.

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Everything was fine. Seriously. May didn't try to talk to her, but didn't ignore her either, right? That didn't mean she was mad at her…

 _Of course she's mad at you, Daisy, don't be stupid,_ said a voice inside her head. _You knocked her down for God's sake…_

Daisy took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She wanted to talk with May; she really did, and have a long and extremely awkward but necessary conversation about them, because she didn't want to lose May. She valued their relationship a lot, May was the best mother she had ever had and the politeness and distance between them was killing her.

She opened her eyes again, took off her earphones and put her phone asides. She was going to talk to May and apologize, hoping for the best and fearing the worst. If May didn't want to talk with her she would have to accept it, but she didn't want to spend one more second wondering what was going to happen.

With her ideas finally in order inside her head, Daisy stood and left her bunk. It was half past seven, so May was probably around the gym to train a bit before dinner. She would go there as if she had planned to train as well and then just tell her how sorry she was. It was a little coward, but it was the best idea she ahd.

However, when Skye reached the gym she noticed that May wasn't alone in there. She opened the door as silently as she could and took a peek inside the room. May was there with Simmons, which really surprised her, but what shocked her the most was the expression of amusement in May's face when Simmons begged mercy from the floor.

"No!" she said. She was down in her knees, wearing a grey tank top with black shorts. "I'm probably already dead"

"Your enemies won't give you that chance" replied May, flipping her over. "But okay, let's take five"

"Thanks" said Simmons, sighing of relief. She crawled her way to the bench and sat on it, trying to normalize her breathing. She opened a bottle of water and finished half of it in three long sips. "How am I supposed to be up at five tomorrow if I can't feel my legs?" she asked. May rolled her eyes, drinking from her bottle as well, but let out a small smile. "Bloody hell, I'm so bad at this"

"We've been training for two hours and a half, I'd said you're doing it quite well for being your first time" said May with a small shrug.

Daisy felt her cheeks heating up violently. May hadn't told her much she had improved until she had actually _killed_ someone, and now was complimenting Simmons in her first day? It wasn't that May was mad at her; she had never cared _at all_. She bit her lips to stop herself from doing something really stupid like crying or asking if she could join them, then closed the door and started to walk back to her bunk.

She had been so stupid, so damn stupid. Why would May even care for her? Who actually cared for poor little orphan _Skye?_ Ward had broken her heart, Trip had died because of her, Simmons and Fitz didn't talk to her as they used to and Coulson and May saw her as a frightened girl rather than an agent.

That was one more reason to be convinced that changing her name to Daisy had been the right thing to do. Everybody left _Skye_ , _Skye_ was weak and clingy and cared too much for people who had betrayed her and left her. _Skye_ adored May, heck even Daisy adored her, but it was obvious that their relationship had changed and that May didn't care for any of them anymore.

She closed the door of her room, feeling one single tear rolling down her cheek. She had hurt May and pushed her away, now she had to deal with it.

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I'm sorry it took me so long to update! I was buried in school stuff but my summer vacations just started so I'll be posting a lot (yay south hemisphere!) Please tell me what you think and write some reviews! I promise next chapter will be longer and better :)


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